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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25748437">Hold It Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaltzingFuriosa/pseuds/WaltzingFuriosa'>WaltzingFuriosa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:34:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25748437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaltzingFuriosa/pseuds/WaltzingFuriosa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ann had been looking forward to the school trip to Hawaii since the beginning of the year, but it just won’t be the same going without Shiho. With a direct order to “have enough fun for the both of us”, Ann is determined to enjoy herself. But with the news cycle back home still blaring Kamoshida’s crimes, and Mishima acting weird around her, Ann has a lot on her mind. A one-shot where Ann and Mishima find out that they have more in common than they thought.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mishima Yuuki &amp; Takamaki Ann, Suzui Shiho &amp; Takamaki Ann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hold It Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shiho’s arms trembled as she gripped the metal railings at either side of her, her knuckles and her face bone white as she concentrated on every small, agonizing step forward. Her ragged breaths came hissing through gritted teeth, but they were steady—the physical therapist insisted on that—and she was dripping sweat from the exertion.</p><p> </p><p>To an outside observer, Shiho’s slow and shaky movements might appear weak or pathetic. Her wobbling arms a sign of her frailty—like the last leaf clinging to a tree during a fall windstorm—but to Ann, every move Shiho made exuded strength. As she watched her friend fight through her pain, a combination of deep sadness and intense joy threatened to overwhelm her. But she didn’t let any of it show. She would be strong for Shiho. Ann owed her that much.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re doing great Shiho, there’s only a bit left.” The physical therapist said encouragingly, walking along with her.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got this Shiho. I’m here for you.” Ann added from her spot at the other end of the railing. She held her arms outstretched and ready to take Shiho into her arms as soon as she made it to her.</p><p> </p><p>Not that reaching Ann was the point. So far, Shiho hadn’t been able to. But the fact that she was trying was all that mattered. And Ann would be there to see her through this no matter what.</p><p> </p><p>Shiho said nothing and kept her eyes on the ground just in front of her feet, her movements slow but never stopping.</p><p> </p><p>Step.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s it.” the therapist whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Step.</p><p> </p><p>“Steady”</p><p> </p><p>Step.</p><p> </p><p>Step.</p><p> </p><p>Shiho had gone into a sort of tunnel vision where she could only see the ground right in front of her. She focused solely on moving forward. No thought extending beyond the few inches of tile in front of her feet. That is, until she found her path blocked by a pair of shoes. Sneakers.</p><p> </p><p><em>Who left these here? </em>She thought, annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>The feeling of a pair of warm hands grasping her shoulders brought her back to the present. Shiho looked up to see Ann’s face, glowing and joyous, only inches away from her own.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked down at her. “You did it,” she whispered. Then again, softer “You <em>did it</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>The two girls were sitting together on Shiho’s bed, reclining on a mountain of pillows and eating snacks that Ann had bought on her way back from school. An old sitcom was playing on the small television on Shiho’s dresser. The afternoon light streamed in through the crack between the heavy curtains.</p><p> </p><p>Shiho noisily rummaged through a half-empty bag of chips, “So when is the next marathon? I’d say I’m ready to hit the track.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann laughed, a soft, gentle sound, “You think you’re ready for a marathon, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho scoffed, her mouth full, “Of <em>course</em>, I basically <em>won</em> at physical therapy, right?” She held her head up high, “I’m sure my trophy will come in the mail any day now.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann smiled at her friend, only Shiho would make a competition out of getting well. She glanced at the shelves full of trophies and medals on the left wall. Mostly volleyball trophies. Ann noticed how they were all covered in a thin sheet of dust. “Oh, well in that case,” she said, “Maybe you can talk to Ryuji and join him on his runs?”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho seemed to consider this, “I don’t know, I’m not sure Sakamoto can keep up, I mean did you <em>see</em> me back there? I wouldn’t want to show him up so soon after he started running again.”</p><p> </p><p>They both laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Ann watched her friend, so tired, but glowing with satisfaction. She had almost forgotten how vivid and full of life Shiho was. Her time under Kamoshida’s thumb had suppressed that verve. She was so glad to see it come back, rebounding like wildflowers after a long, hard winter.</p><p> </p><p>Snapping back from her thoughts, Ann realized that she had been staring. And Shiho was staring back, but the look on her face seemed off.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh!” Ann started, “Sorry, I sort of spaced out! Haha.”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho smiled, the look gone. Maybe she had imagined it? “So…” Shiho said, a hint of forced casualness in her voice, “The trip to Hawaii is next week, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Ann had planned to discuss this exact thing today, so she was prepared. “It is!” she replied with perhaps a bit too much enthusiasm, “We’re supposed to leave on Wednesday night but—I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Ann took a deep breath, trying to remember the words that had been knocking around her head all of last night. “Well, It’s just that… I know how much you were looking forward to this trip, and I was really looking forward to going with you. And things are so crazy at school now…” Ann fidgeted with the corner of a discarded chocolate wrapper. “Things just wouldn’t be the same without you so, I was thinking—“</p><p> </p><p>“Wait” Shiho interrupted, raising her hand, “Were you about to say that you would miss out on a chance to go to Hawaii just so you could stay with me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—Well—“ Ann’s momentum stalled. She hadn’t counted on interruptions. “I mean… yeah!”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho looked at her incredulously for a moment. Then she started to laugh, quietly at first, then louder, and louder, until she was practically tearing up.</p><p> </p><p>“Wha—what’s so funny?” Ann demanded. “I’m serious!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh Ann!” Shiho gasped, wiping away tears, “You are the best friend a girl could ever have! But—“ she stopped to take a breath and compose herself. “But Ann, I want you to go to Hawaii.”</p><p> </p><p>This was not going at all like she had planned. “What do you mean? It’s really no big deal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ann, do you know what’s more sad than me not being able to go to Hawaii?” Shiho asked, crossing her arms and looking at her expectantly.</p><p> </p><p>“…Um—“</p><p> </p><p>“WRONG.” She raised a finger. “It’s my best friend not being able to go to Hawaii because of me.” Shiho said, taking Ann’s hand. “Go to Hawaii Ann. Go to the beach and eat some weird food and have a great time for the both of us.” Then adding, her voice low, almost urgent, “You can’t let him ruin this too.” Shiho squeezed Ann’s hand gently as she spoke.</p><p> </p><p>Ann opened her mouth, and then shut it again. This wasn’t what she had planned. She was ready to skip the trip and was looking forward to seeing Shiho every day. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to go to Hawaii anymore. How could she? This was a trip that was meant for the two of them, they had spent so long pining for it, but that all seemed so long ago, so irrelevant.</p><p> </p><p>But this is what Shiho wanted. And how could she ever say no to her?</p><p> </p><p>Ann nodded, squeezing Shiho’s hand back. “All right.”</p><p> </p><p>Just then, the sitcom had ended and the evening news had come on. The top story: the Shujin scandal. Reflexively, Ann leaned forward for the remote to change the channel.</p><p> </p><p>“No, wait.” Shiho said, her fingers brushing Ann’s extended wrist. “I want to see this.”</p><p> </p><p>The television droned on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Scandal at Shujin Academy - Today we bring an update on the story that shocked Tokyo and the global sporting community. Former gym teacher and Olympic athlete Suguru Kamoshida confessed to multiple counts of…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They both listened intently to the report, not that there was any new information. Every now and then Ann snuck a look toward Shiho, but the girl’s face betrayed nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Once the report was done, Shiho switched off the television and the two say in silence for a while.</p><p> </p><p>“It seems like Shujin’s all over the news lately.” Shiho said, looking at the TV’s general direction. “They’re saying that the whole school knew about Kamoshida.” A dark look came over Shiho’s face. “The administration must be scrambling right now.”</p><p> </p><p>A car horn blared from somewhere outside.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… they really are.” Ann said, slowly. “It’s honestly a miracle that the trip is still even happening. My guess is that they probably don’t want to look too shaken by the whole thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. They wouldn’t want to ruin their <em>image</em>.” Shiho said the word “image” like it left a bad taste in her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Ann looked at her friend and put her hand on her shoulder, careful not to use too much pressure, “Hey…you haven’t brought him up in a while. What’s on your mind? You can talk to me.”</p><p> </p><p>After another pause, then Shiho finally turned her head and looked at Ann. The triumph from earlier now replaced with exhaustion. “I know. I’m…It’s just. It doesn’t really go away, I guess. At least it hasn’t since all this happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho looked down at her hands. “What he did to us… Sometimes,” she laughed dryly, ”This’ll sound silly. But sometimes, I feel like any day now I’ll get a call from Kamoshida, berating me for missing practice and telling me to come to his office. He loved to do that, especially to his “favorites.” Me and Yuuki, he’d…” she trailed off.</p><p> </p><p>Ann squeezed Shiho’s shoulder reassuringly, “Shiho?”</p><p> </p><p>“How is Yuuki?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Mishima?” she was thrown by the sudden change in subject, “Oh yeah. I mean—I don’t really talk to him much but he hangs out with Ren and Ryuji sometimes. He’s doing ok, as far as I know. Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Shiho shrugged, “Oh nothing. It’s just that I haven’t seen him in a while.”</p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t come to visit you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like, at all?”</p><p> </p><p>“No…” Shiho said, deflating.</p><p> </p><p>Ann had not been particularly close to Mishima since they were kids, even with his recent Phansite work, she wasn’t even sure they’d had a proper conversation since middle school. He and Shiho, on the other hand, they had been close friends since long before the volleyball team. They’d go watch nerdy movies together and he was the reason that Shiho had such an intense UFO conspiracy theory phase in 3rd grade.</p><p> </p><p>It was true that the two had hung out less and less in recent years<em>. </em>But still, the news that Mishima hadn’t come to visit Shiho, not even once, was a surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I can’t really blame him. After everything that’s happened… I can see why he wouldn’t want to see me.” Shiho said, with a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean!?” Ann said, leaning closer.</p><p> </p><p>Shiho shook her head and took a deep breath. She looked at Ann with renewed composure, “No, never mind, it’s nothing. I’m sorry for bringing down the mood. Let’s just forget about it ok? This is a celebration!” She tore open a fresh bag of cookies.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure—“ Ann began.</p><p> </p><p>“Positive.” she cut her off, “I’ll be fine Ann. Some days are going to suck, but with you to help me through this, I know things will be ok. So let’s just enjoy this moment before you abandon me to go to Hawaii. Please?”</p><p> </p><p>Ann laughed, “Hey! I am not <em>abandoning</em>—“ but Shiho had stuffed a cookie in Ann’s mouth before she could finish.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>“DAAAMN THIS IS SO COOL!” Ryuji yelled, bursting into the hotel lobby and startling a couple of tourists standing by the door.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s like the freakin’ Ritz in here!” He continued, then gasped, “WAIT! Are we at the Ritz right now? Is this it?” he whispered urgently to Ann, who was walking next to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you seriously think that Shujin would have the money to get us into a place like the Ritz?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, I dunno. Mayb—eeagh!” Ryuji shrieked when a strong hand clamped itself down on his right shoulder. The hand belonged to Makoto, who was smiling placidly at him from behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh hey—Makoto! Heey… What’s—uh—what’s up?” he sputtered.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so glad you’re excited to be on this trip, Ryuji!” Makoto spoke in a chipper, professional tone of voice that she used whenever she had to speak in public or talk to teachers. The team referred to it as the “President Tone.” Her grip did not loosen. “It’s truly a great privilege to be able to go and visit a foreign country, especially one as gorgeous as this, isn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ahahaha—Yeah…” Ryuji’s laugh came out hollow.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” she continued, briskly. “But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that when one is traveling abroad, it’s up to all of us to act as representatives for back home. Everything you do here as an individual reflects back on the rest of us, so we can’t just go around, say, <em>screaming in the lobby</em> <em>of a hotel.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>There was something about the dead weight of Makoto’s hand on his shoulder that reminded Ryuji of a loaded spring trap. Perfectly harmless—as long as you didn’t make the wrong move.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji stammered, “Uh—yeah! You’re—you’re totally right!”</p><p> </p><p>And just like that, the mood lightened instantly. “I knew you would understand Ryuji!” she said, giving him a friendly pat on the arm. “Now, if you would excuse me, I need to go check on the room situation.” She turned and walked towards a group of teachers and chaperones clustering by the reception desk.</p><p> </p><p>As Makoto walked off, Ryuji exhaled the breath he had apparently been holding in.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, that was terrifying even from a distance!” Ren said, joining the group. Mishima followed close behind.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well, wasn’t much better up close,” Ryuji said. “But!” he clapped his hands together, “that ain’t bringing me down. We’re in Hawaii, dude! I can’t wait to hit the beach.” He moved behind Ren and Mishima, wrapping one arm around each shoulder, “I can see it now: the sun, the sea,“ he shook Ren slightly and winked conspiratorially to Mishima “the <em>babes</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>“The babes…” Mishima whispered reverently.</p><p> </p><p>Ann looked at the three of them, trying not to laugh. “Well, while you’re all out trying to reel in “the babes” I have my eyes set on my own prize.”</p><p> </p><p>“And what’s that? You gonna go shopping for your 30th pair of sunglasses?” Ryuji teased.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not a bad idea Ryuji! But no. My goal is to try as much of the local food as I can. I’ve been meaning to expand my palate and this is my chance!” She wasn’t too sure what traditional Hawaiian cuisine included, but she had been told that there was pineapple involved.</p><p> </p><p>“And I want to see how deep a hole I can dig in the sand.” Ren said, eyeing the gift shop, and the small plastic pail and shovels that were on display.</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, that’s adorable,” Ann giggled.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re killing me here, man,” Ryuji groaned.</p><p> </p><p>Ren laughed. “What? I never said you couldn’t help!”</p><p> </p><p>“Amamiya-kun! Could you please come over here for a moment?” Makoto called over from by the front desk. The teachers and the other chaperones were standing nearby.</p><p> </p><p>He nodded to Makoto, “Be back in a second,” he said, and walked away.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them watched him go.</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji checked his phone and noticed the time, “Aw crap, I almost forgot! Gotta call my mom. She wanted me to let her know when we got to the hotel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Calling Japan from here is going to be super expensive. You should see if you can use one of the hotel’s phones instead,” Ann suggested.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you’re right! Ok, be back in a bit! Don’t head to the beach without me!” He called back as he tromped over to the help desk.</p><p> </p><p>And just like that, Mishima and Ann found themselves alone together.</p><p> </p><p>They looked at each other, suddenly aware of this fact. The weight of maintaining conversation heavy on both of them. They both pretended to check their phones.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Ann was the first to speak up. “So, how…are things?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nice job Takamaki. You’re a real conversationalist. A+.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Things are… things are good.” Mishima put his phone away. “How about you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. Um, excited for the trip! Haha… Those beaches, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, me too. Beaches are cool. I like… the salt.” Mishima looked like he wanted to slap himself.</p><p> </p><p>It’s amazing how things change. When they were in grade school, Ann, Mishima, Ryuji, and Shiho were almost inseparable. They’d go to each other’s houses to study and hang out during recess. Sure, Mishima had always been closer to Shiho, just like Ann had always been closer to Ryuji, but they were all friends once upon a time. They had just drifted apart.</p><p> </p><p>Ann knew that Kamoshida’s influence played a part in that, of course, but they had begun to grow apart even before then. Even now, after Kamoshida had been exposed and with Mishima helping the Phantom Thieves get targets via the Phansite, she still hadn’t really taken the time to reconnect with him like she had with Ryuji. And from what Shiho had said, she wasn’t speaking to Mishima anymore either. Mishima was to Shiho what Ryuji was to her, and she couldn’t imagine not having Ryuji as a friend anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Their friendship had been fractured, both by time and by circumstance. Ann wanted to at least start to try and fix that.</p><p> </p><p>First thing’s first, Ann needed to get Mishima to relax. He had always been a nervous guy, but all she needed to do was to get him talking about a subject that he’s interested in. Doing that would surely get him to loosen up. And Ann knew just the topic that would do the trick.</p><p> </p><p>She looked around to be sure nobody could overhear them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” she began, lowering her voice, “I’d been meaning to ask…how’s the Phansite going?”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima brightened instantly. “Oh! It’s going really, really well! We’re getting loads of traffic every day. Requests are pouring in like crazy after you guys dealt with Medjed.” He pulled up the Phansite on his phone and showed it to Ann. It was Mishima’s email inbox, which was continuously updating with a steady flow of notifications. “See?”</p><p> </p><p><em>Point one for Takamaki</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow! And all of those are people sending requests?!” Ann was honestly impressed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Mishima shrugged, “about a third of them are requests, the rest are comments, and lots of those are either spam or just trolls looking to cause trouble. I ban those pretty quickly.” He put his phone back in his pocket, “I think it’s important to get rid of all the bullies and junk so that the people who actually need your help can find their way to the top. I also think it helps makes people feel safer and more likely to post. Honestly, moderating the forums is what takes the most time.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann crossed her arms, “So you’re the guy who makes sure things stay civil and kick out any rowdy guests. Kind of like a virtual bouncer!”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima blushed, “Well, I hadn’t thought of it like that, but I guess I am! That makes it sound way more exciting than it actually is, though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Must be pretty hard dealing with this all by yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, well yeah. It definitely keeps me pretty busy. It’s a big job, but I have a lot of time on my hands, especially now that volleyball is out of the picture, ahaha…” he looked down at his shoes for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I see… Do you ever miss it?”</p><p> </p><p>His head snapped back up, almost too quickly. “What… volleyball?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Aw hell Takamaki, why’d you have to bring that up!? Pull up! Abort! Abort!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s fine.” He looked off to the side for a moment, as if deciding on his answer. “Sometimes.” he said, finally.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima seemed to be holding back, so Ann stayed silent. This was a technique she had learned from a TV detective she liked to watch in middle school. If you stay quiet, people will feel compelled to fill the silence, and keep on talking.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima continued. “Well, it’s just… for the longest time, volleyball was always something that I used to define myself, if that makes any sense. I could look in the mirror and say ‘That’s Yuuki, a member of the volleyball team!” I was a part of something, and I guess sometimes I miss that. But—” he added, quickly, “I don’t really need the volleyball team for that anymore, not now that I have the Phansite!”</p><p> </p><p>Ann nodded, “I know what you mean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Mishima said, surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” she waved her hand airily, “I think we all try to find places where we belong, or things that we can sort of attach ourselves to. I always felt kind of adrift myself. Having moved around so much and standing out so much from other people here. So I decided to focus on my modeling. It was comforting to have that. It was my <em>thing</em>, you know? Kind of like how volleyball was yours. But that wasn’t enough, though I kept telling myself that it was. In the end, I was still lost. If it hadn’t been for the Phantom Thieves, I would probably still feel that way. So I guess… in a way, they saved us both.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima regarded Ann, his body language was much more relaxed, no longer looking like a coiled spring. He smiled a little, “Wow, Takamaki-chan, I would never have thought someone like you went through that sort of thing. You always seemed so… I don’t know, in control.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann laughed, “It seems that we have more in common than we thought.”</p><p> </p><p>They lapsed into another silence, but this one felt a tiny bit more comfortable. She dared to try again. She had been thinking about Mishima since her conversation with Shiho and now was as good a time as any to bring up what had been on her mind.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Mishima…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for all your help. You know, with all of <em>this</em>.” she waved her hands vaguely.</p><p> </p><p>“Haha, oh no, that’s not necessary” he said, his cheeks burning red.</p><p> </p><p>Ann shook her head. “But I think it is! It’s thanks to you that the Phantom Thieves have gotten as big as we have. We can help so many more people because of you. So, thanks. Really.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima smiled, unsure what to say at such sincere praise.</p><p> </p><p>She waited a moment, and then added. “You know, I think Shiho would be proud.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima flinched and looked at Ann as if she had just slapped him in the face.</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed. “Wha—Why would you…”</p><p> </p><p>“Mishima? What’s—“</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, looks like the rooms are all set, we just need to decide on roommates.” Makoto said as she approached them, scanning a list of names on a clipboard. Ren walked beside her.</p><p> </p><p>“Ann, you could—“ she looked up, but stopped when she saw Mishima’s face. “Are you ok Mishima-kun? You look a little pale.“</p><p> </p><p>Before Ann could say anything Mishima interjected.</p><p> </p><p>“Er—food! I think it was the plane food. Not sitting well. Ahaha. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” He said, hastily.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure?” Ren asked, concern written plain on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, really!”</p><p> </p><p>Ren didn’t look convinced, but he said nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>Makoto eyed Mishima skeptically, “Hmm, well alright. Just be careful ok? Don’t strain yourself and let me know if any further symptoms present themselves. Understood?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, ma’m!” He saluted for some reason.</p><p> </p><p>“Yo! So what’s the plan!” Ryuji called over, rejoining the group.</p><p> </p><p>From there, the group decided on roommates and discussed their plans for the next few days. But while they all talked, Ann couldn’t stop looking over at Mishima, who was avoiding eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>The day hadn’t gone quite as they had all planned.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks to the fallout from the Kamoshida scandal, the school had neglected to schedule any activities for the students. Without any money or means of transportation, the gang had no choice but to mill around the area around the hotel. And the only restaurant within their price range…</p><p> </p><p>Ryuji pointed to an item on the menu posted above the cash register, “Hey Ann, look! Number five. There’s a burger with pineapple in it. No way I’ve ever seen that at the Big Bang Burger back home. You said you wanted to try some local foods, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, I don’t know…” Ann squinted at the photo on the menu, “Do you think that’s a traditional dish?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eh, probably?”</p><p> </p><p>Although Ann’s gastronomic adventure wasn’t off to the best start, she took some comfort in knowing that, if Shiho were here, she would find all of this pretty funny.</p><p> </p><p>Nighttime came quickly, and she and Ryuji had been locked out of their rooms. Because why not? This might as well happen. At least Ren and Mishima were nice enough to let them stay in their room.</p><p> </p><p>Ann always had trouble sleeping on the first days of a trip. It was a sort of situational insomnia that she experienced since she was very young and was still dragged along to her parents’ many business trips.</p><p> </p><p>She looked around, her eyes having adjusted to the dark a while ago. The digital clock on the nightstand informed her that it was 4 am. Next, she looked at the sleeping bodies around her. Ren was snuggled under an extra comforter on the couch. Only his messy, dark hair was visible, his glasses folded up on the end table beside the sofa. Ryuji was splayed out on the nest of sheets and extra pillows that he had fashioned for himself on the floor. Mishima slept on the bed next to hers. He was curled tightly under the sheets, his back to her.</p><p> </p><p>She listened to the deep and even breathing of all of her friends, the ocean waves crashing to shore outside, the rattle of the air conditioning unit up on the ceiling. Despite all of the hitches, she was happy to have gone on this trip, truly. To spend some time with the people she cared about, but…</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts would always come back to Shiho, and how much she wished she could have been here with her. It just wasn’t fair, she thought to herself, a plume of warm anger rising in her chest. Warm tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, threatening to stain her pillow.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You can’t let him ruin this too.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Shiho was right. She wiped the tears from her eyes with renewed determination and stared at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>She was here to have fun for the both of them. She’d make memories and bring them home to share with Shiho. Life would go on. It had to. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sound of the ocean.</p><p> </p><p>Just as she was beginning to drift off to sleep, she heard a thrashing to her left, followed by heavy breathing.</p><p> </p><p>She did not need to open her eyes to know it was Mishima.</p><p> </p><p>She had tried to get another moment alone with Mishima all day, but for whatever reason their conversation had rattled him. He had been avoiding her.</p><p> </p><p>She could hear him sit up, his breathing ragged and shallow. There was a pause. The breathing slowed, Mishima seemed to be trying to calm himself down. Ann wondered if she should say something when she heard him stand up from he bed, quietly walk to the door, and step out to the hallway, closing the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Only then did Ann dare to sit up and look at the door.</p><p> </p><p>— — —</p><p> </p><p>Clad in the oversized shirt and shorts she went to bed in, Ann tiptoed down the carpeted hallway, the warm glow of the fancy sconces that lined the wall shining brightly even at this late hour.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This is crazy Takamaki. Mishima clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She came to a crossroads. To her right was the elevator bank, empty and adorned with two small chairs and a wooden table decorated with a vase of colorful tropical flowers. Straight ahead was more hallway. Mishima probably wouldn’t leave this floor. Probably. She continued down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He probably just had a nightmare and went to clear his head. You’re the one being weird and stalking him. Stop stalking him, weirdo! Don’t be so weird.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Another crossroads. More hallway to her right, and a double door to her left.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just leave it alone! He’s fine!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Except he obviously isn’t. And Shiho is worried about him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was about to continue to down the hall when she heard noises coming from behind the double doors.</p><p> </p><p>She crept closer.</p><p> </p><p>She thought she heard somebody crying..</p><p> </p><p>Carefully, she opened the double doors to what appeared to be a welcoming area for a larger even space further in. Only a handful of the ceiling lights were on, and tables and chairs were stacked in the far end of the room. The air was stale with traces of cleaner.</p><p> </p><p>Then she saw Mishima.</p><p> </p><p>He had his back turned to her and was facing the floor-to cling window that overlooked the interior courtyard of the hotel. He was standing hunched over a low table, leaning on it its both hands. He had not heard her come in.</p><p> </p><p>She hesitated, took a deep breath, and stepped forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Mishima?”</p><p> </p><p>The boy jumped as if struck by lightning, swinging around with an almost crazed look in his eye.</p><p> </p><p>“Ta—Takamaki-chan!” He stammered, and then quickly turned his back to her, trying to wipe the tears and redness from his face. “I—I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?” his voice was raw and thick with tears.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh not at all,” Ann said, keeping her voice light and casual, as if she had not even noticed the state Mishima was in. “I’ve been having a hard time sleeping since we got here.” She made her way slowly to Mishima, giving him more time to compose himself. When she came to stand next to him, she casually looked at the view, and continued, “It must be the jet lag!” she sighed. “Are you having trouble sleeping too?”</p><p> </p><p>Only now did Ann dare to try and look at Mishima, who seemed to have gotten a hold of himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah it… must be the jet lag,” came his terse reply.</p><p> </p><p>He did not look her in the eye, but neither did he make a move to leave. Ann decided to take a chance. “Is that all, Mishima? Or is something else bothering you?” Once again, she kept her tone light.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima still wouldn’t look at her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here if you want to talk about it. You’re a part of the team, after all.” she added, more seriously this time.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment Mishima seemed comforted by Ann’s words, but just as quickly he seemed to collapse inwards a little more.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right Takamaki-chan,” he sighed, fiddling with his hands as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “I just didn’t want to worry you all with my problems. You have so much to worry about already.“</p><p> </p><p>“If a teammate is in trouble, I’m happy to help. We all are. So what’s on your mind?” she positioned herself so she was facing him, rather than the window.</p><p> </p><p>He seemed to relax a little. “It’s really not a big deal, it’s just that… well. I haven’t just had problems sleeping since we got here. Ever since… all the stuff with Kamoshida happened, I’ve been getting these nightmares.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann thought back to how Mishima looked in those days, covered in bruises, hunched and closed off as if he wanted to make himself as small as possible. Just like Shiho. When Shiho had first woken up from her coma, she could remember her telling her about the horrible things Kamoshida did to them. How she and a select few students—his favorites, like Mishima—got the worst of it.</p><p> </p><p>Ann wanted so badly to say something comforting, but she knew she needed to let him keep talking. Maybe, like Shiho, Mishima needed someone to hear what he had gone through. Someone to share his pain with. This might be the first time he’s ever talked about this to anyone. She needed to hear him out.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” she said, prompting him to continue.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima took a shaky breath. “And it’s not just at night either… sometimes, I feel like he’s still here. Somewhere. That any second now he’ll just show up and things will go back to the way they were.” He shook his head, “And I know how stupid that is! He’s gone! But—”</p><p> </p><p>He paused, deliberating what he would say next. Ann let the silence sit.</p><p> </p><p>He continued, “It just feels like things have gotten worse since he confessed.” He quickly looked at Ann, ”I—I mean, of course things got better! I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it just feels like I… like <em>I’ve</em> gotten worse. And I don’t know why.”</p><p> </p><p>His words tumbled out of him, faster and faster, as if he feared that if he didn’t say them now he never would. “I never got nightmares this bad before. I’m anxious all the time for no reason. I can’t play volleyball anymore. I just freeze up as soon as a ball comes near me. I can’t even stand being in the gym. Just hearing the coach’s whistle makes me want to throw up.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima gripped the edge of the table in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s over, Things are supposed to be OK now. But then… why don’t I feel OK?” he looked at Ann imploringly, as if she could give him an answer. “Why do I feel like I’m falling apart? Why now?”</p><p> </p><p>All Ann could do was stare back at him. She was at a loss for words. She knew that Mishima was no doubt still dealing with what happened with Kamoshida. After all, he had been put through the same torture that Shiho had been. But Shiho at least had her to turn to for comfort. She wasn’t sure Mishima had anyone. Which, to Ann, was unacceptable.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima let go of the table, looking down at his feet and hugging himself, as if suddenly cold. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear all of this, I’ll just go—“ he said, starting to walk away.</p><p> </p><p>Ann placed her hand on Mishima’s shoulder. He looked at her, his eyes tense and afraid, as if he dreaded what Ann would do next.</p><p> </p><p>Ann took a deep breath, “Mishima, thank you for telling me all this.” She paused, trying to gather her thoughts. “I…I’m sorry—”</p><p> </p><p>Then Mishima laughed. It was a short, frantic laugh that startled her. “How… <em>You’re </em>sorry? I should be the one saying that to you!”</p><p> </p><p>Ann pulled her hand back. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>He backed away. “What do you…? After all that happened…after all that’s happened to Shiho, you must <em>hate</em> me. Don’t pretend that you don’t!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hate—Why on Earth would I hate you?!” But even as she said that she was finally beginning to understand. And that same warm feeling bloomed in her chest once again. Something was wrong here.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima gaped at her, absolutely incredulous. “I should have <em>done</em> something Ann! A long time ago! I knew what he was doing! I saw it but I didn’t do anything. I just kept my head down and did as I was told like a pathetic <em>coward</em>.” His voice cracked at the last word. Mishima’s hands balled up into trembling fists as he struggled to keep going.</p><p> </p><p>“On that day, the day Shiho tried to—“ he shuddered, “—I was the one that told her to go to Kamoshida’s office. He asked me to get her and I just <em>did</em>. I knew he was angry. I knew what he wanted to do to her, but I let it happen anyway.” his tone was getting increasingly frantic, “I am so sorry Ann. I know what I did is unforgivable, but I’m so sorry. I haven’t even gone to see her since she woke up because I’m so ashamed. Which is even <em>more</em> pathetic! She was my friend and I just let her—“</p><p> </p><p>Without saying a word, Ann walked over to Mishima, grabbed him by the shoulders, and pulled him into a hug so hard that it nearly crushed all of the air out of his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Why—“ he gasped.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>This is not your fault</em>.” Ann said. She spoke with so much conviction that it surprised even her. She felt as she had when Carmen first came to her. Her mind ablaze with righteous anger. Kamoshida had hurt her friends. And the pain hasn’t stopped just because the bastard is behind bars.</p><p> </p><p>She pulled away and looked Mishima in the eye, still holding him by his shoulders. He stared at her in shock, his face wet with fresh tears. She continued, “Do you understand? It’s. Not. Your. Fault—”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, you don’t get it, I could have—“ Mishima shook his head but he did not pull away.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Listen to me. It’s all that son of a bitch Kamoshida’s fault. All of it. He had us all caught up in his fucking bullshit web, me included! <em>HE </em>was the teacher. <em>HE</em> had all the power the whole time and <em>HE </em>was the one who decided to abuse it and hurt us. If you had tried to stop him alone he would have crushed you. That’s how he got away with it for so long!”</p><p> </p><p>She thought she had dealt with all of her anger and hatred back when she got Carmen. But now, seeing Mishima like this, ashamed and guilty for the actions of that monster, it had all come back. But this wasn’t the Metaverse, and Panther and Carmen wouldn’t be of much use here.</p><p> </p><p>Mishima was hurting. He was hurting in a way that was all too familiar, and it was Ann Takamaki who had to help.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t imagine what hell you went through Mishima, but I know what it’s like to feel like you failed the people you love. Because I felt the same way! And I still do, all the time! Even now I wonder, How I could have stopped it sooner, how I could have kept this from getting as bad as it did if I had only been a little stronger? But none of that matters! You know why?”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima shook his head, mumbling incoherently between sobs.</p><p> </p><p>“Because now we are stronger! <em>You</em>, Mishima, are stronger! We beat him and we beat him together and now we’re going to help other people so they don’t have to go through the same shit we did, right? Isn’t that why we’re doing all of this?”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima swayed slightly as if he could no longer bear his own weight. Ann caught him and gently helped him down to the floor and sat beside him.</p><p> </p><p>She stayed with Mishima as his breathing became normal and he seemed to calm down. After several minutes, she dared to break the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“You probably won’t believe me when I tell you this, but you’re not a coward, Mishima-kun. What you told me earlier today, about kicking out the bullies on the Phansite so that people can feel safe? If that isn’t something a Phantom Thief would do, then I don’t know what is.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at Mishima, and when he didn’t respond, she continued, her voice low and soothing, “In fact, your job is probably the most important out of all of ours.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please Takamaki-chan” he said, shakily, “you don’t need to lie to me to make me feel better.”</p><p> </p><p>“I swear to god I’m being absolutely serious.” she said, then continued. “Think about it. When Kamoshida was still here, you had no one to turn to. No one who would even listen to your problems let alone help. That’s how he gets you; he makes you feel totally isolated. But now?” She said pointing at his chest, “Mishima, you <em>are</em> that person! We may be the ones who do the stealing, but you’re the one who’s there to listen to people. You’re the person who gives people hope.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima wiped the tears and snot from his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “You’re saying all these things about me, making me sound like some sort of hero, but I don’t feel like a hero at all. I wasn’t trying to be a hero then, I was just scared. And I’m scared now! The only difference now is that I feel like I’m falling apart.“</p><p> </p><p>Ann considered this. She looked out the window over the lush trees and flowering bushes below. “You know, that reminds me about something that Shiho said to me. A few weeks after she woke up.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima was still looking down but he seemed to be listening.</p><p> </p><p>“There were days where she felt just awful, not just physically, but emotionally. Like all of the hurt from before was crashing down on her all at once. She described it like the fallout after a long training session. While she was training, she’d push and push, ignoring all of her pain and exhaustion. And only after it was over, and she was alone and sitting down, was that she really felt how tired she was. It hit her all at once, because she finally had the space to let herself feel it. She said, some days, she felt like that, but in here,” Ann placed a hand over her forehead.</p><p> </p><p>Ann watched the shadows of the trees swaying on the walls, “I think that’s what you’re feeling now. You’re not getting worse, Mishima, you’re just tired. You’ve been working so hard to survive and get by for so long. And now that you finally have a chance to stop and breathe, all that strain is coming back to you.” Ann took a deep breath. “It’s because you’re safe that you’re able to feel this way…. if that makes any sense.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima seemed to consider her words for a moment. “Shiho always had the cheesiest sports metaphors.” He said, and laughed. Ann laughed with him.</p><p> </p><p>They sat together in silence for a while afterwards. But this time, they just kept each other company, neither party feeling any particular need to speak.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, it was Mishima that broke the silence.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s Shiho doing?”</p><p> </p><p>Ann smiled at Mishima, “She’s doing so well. There are good days and bad days, but she’s working very hard at physical therapy. Last week she walked farther than she ever had before. She’s already talking about running a marathon.”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds like her” Mishima said with a laugh. “I’m glad.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know…” Ann wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but she took the plunge anyway. “I’m going to visit Shiho next week when we get back. I would love it if you came with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima said quiet for a while, which made Ann worry that she had said the wrong thing. Until he finally spoke “That is very kind of you Takamaki-chan, but I really don’t think she wants to see me.”</p><p> </p><p>Ann sat up straighter, “That’s not true! In fact, she asked about you the other day.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima looked at her, a small bit of hope flashing in his eyes. “Really? She did?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. She’s worried about you. And…” she added, “She misses her friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima laughed. “I can’t believe it. She’s the one in physical therapy and she’s worried about <em>me</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’d love to see you, I know it. Come with me next week.”</p><p> </p><p>Mishima looked out into the night, and sighed. As Ann looked at him, it looked almost as if a weight that he had been struggling with, although not disappearing, got the tiniest bit lighter.</p><p> </p><p>He smiled at her, “Alright, I will.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to not include the real final scene where Ann and Mishima have to go to the front desk in their pajamas because neither of them thought to bring keycards and get locked out.</p><p>I've had this little guy in my WIP's for over a year. I wrote the first draft after replaying vanilla P5 and really wishing that Ann and Mishima had had some kind of interaction. I was disappointed with the way that the game largely forgets the trauma that Mishima dealt with in the first part of the game in favor of making him just another pathetic comic relief dude to make the protag look cooler. I mean yes the kid is super awkward and cringey, but let him also have LAYERS. Also, the game REALLY did not do anything with Ann's anger as a character trait. Carmen was born out of her rage and the injustice faced by her and her peers, and that rage is what fuels her rebellion, and I'd just like to see it more in the game.</p><p>Also I just liked the idea of Ann being the kind of person who gets angry for you and starts cursing when she gets mad.</p><p>Thanks for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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